Monday, May 01, 2006

Moon over Golden Gate

The sun heats San Francisco, not a drop of rain since my arrival in August. And it is not supposed to rain before November, a few beautiful days ahead. Johnny's bike was stolen yesterday. On Friday as I was helping him filling forms for financial aid, he was telling me how important his bike was to him. I know he used to fasten it really well to a pole, but the chain was not strong enough, I am angry at myself because this weekend I was thinking that I should have bought him a new lock.
We don't realize what it means to live on the street. Johnny tells me about his life and I keep the details. He sleeps with seven other sidekicks, near an administration building under a camera, they feel protected under this camera. Two women and five men share these squares of sidewalk, a part of humanity. Johnny goes to college and his friends support him. It is not easy to sleep on concrete, to have a sleep broken by street noises, fights of the winos. Johnny wakes up at 4.30am and plans his day, then he goes to church where breakfast is provided for them. Then he goes to class. When he starts school at eight, he saves food from the day before because the church only opens at 8.
Some teachers don't know about his life situation and don't give him enough care. One of them says he is crazy. The more I listen to him, the more I talk to him the more I understant how organized he is to be where he is right now. Some mornings I find him in a pitiful state and it takes me ten good minutes to find my Johnny again, these days where he hasn't been given any attention, these days where the teacher before me talks "too sophisticated" and want him to read poetry. He wants to write and to learn how to read, he wants to learn how to break down words. Once these few minutes are over, what a pleasure I have listening to him, to see him laugh and to listen to the story of his life.
Sometimes, it is hard, last Wednesday, he was all tears for an hour, he was so down, souvenirs to difficult to bear. The rest of the class was working silently, they had a lot of compassion.The other day when he told me that the only pictures he had were the ones I had taken of him and of his bike and those of the class, it hit me to my heart.

For him the class a bit like his family. The group is nice to him, Charonda who is 18 Pour lui la classe c’est un peu comme une famille. Le groupe est sympa avec lui, Cha’ronda qui a 18 ans l’interpelle et lui demande souvent comment il va.
Évidemment il n’y a pas que Johnny, il y a les autres, le groupe est soudé, se confie de plus en plus, vient vers moi plus facilement, Konya m’apostrophe dans la cour, me passe la main sur les cheveux en arrivant en classe, elle parle de sa maladie (sida), du fait qu’elle a été abusée. Edwina raconte son homosexualité, Jamina explique le meurtre de son compagnon de 24 dans leur maison. Chacune des vies de ces deux classes de « basic writing » est chargée des pires choses qui peuvent vous arriver aux Etats-Unis, viol, abus sexuel, meurtre. L’autre jour, John est arrivé après deux jours d’absence, il m’a montré un trou dans le bras : « driving by shooting » ben quoi, vous ne connaissez pas, un mec qui passe en voiture et qui vous tire dessus, simple non ?
Côté collègue, cela ne se passe pas trop mal, habitant à San Francisco, je suis un peu isolée d’eux, car ils habitent tous dans la Baie de San Francisco et je quitte le collège dès que j’ai fini le travail à 1430 car il ne fait pas bon traîner dans le quartier. Le collège vous propose une escorte sécurité pour aller de l’école à votre voiture ou au BART, ça donne le ton, « better be careful than sorry » m’a dit un collègue. Je ne l’ai pas sollicitée. Je pars tôt. C’est un peu comme au collège, on se croise dans les couloirs, on se voit peut-être même un peu moins car on a son propre bureau.
Je ne me débrouille pas trop mal avec les cours, mais j’ai un boulot fou pour arriver à être à jour avec toutes les corrections des rédactions des élèves et mes préparations surtout pour la leçon de Critical Thinking. J’ai beaucoup de lectures à faire c’est intéressant. Les lectures sont très politisées, osées pour l’Amérique, mais évidemment pas pour une école à majorité noire. Au cours de Critical Thinking, les élèves sont vraiment brillants. La politique les tient beaucoup à cœur, ils sont écoeurés par la politique de leur gouvernement et sont toujours prêts à débattre des sujets d’actualité tels les événements de Louisiane.
Je m’étonne chaque jour de la tolérance qu’il y a dans les classes, de l’écoute et de l’intérêt pour les autres. J’adore mon travail au collège, mais avant tout les élèves qui m’impressionnent de volonté et d’enthousiasme.
Quand j’ai fini l’école, je rentre à Castro et je travaille pour le lendemain, mes après-midi sont généralement assez bien occupées. Comme ma chambre a peu de lumière, il m’arrive de filer chez Spike’s. Un coffee shop juste à côté de chez moi.
Ensuite je vais au yoga, tous les jours une heure et demie. Je fais de l’ashtanga dans une école géniale et je m’apprête à faire une formation pendant les week-end. Le niveau est exceptionnel. La majorité des élèves de l’école sont des instructeurs de yoga. On monte sur les mains, se contorsionne dans tous les sens et je dois dire que cela termine bien mes journées et me donne de l’énergie pour le lendemain. La salle est immense, dans un grand bâtiment plein de lumière avec des poutres au plafond c’est très beau.
J’essaie de terminer mes corrections le vendredi après-midi, souvent je n’y arrive pas et cela déborde sur le week-end.
Le samedi est consacré au yoga, toujours, mais seulement tôt le matin après quoi je découvre la ville. Ballade à Haights dans les boutiques hippies, le long de l’océan vers Crissy Fields et j’observe avec envie les windsurfeurs et kiters qui se baladent sous le Golden Gate au nez des gros-porteurs. Faire de la planche me tente bien, mais j’ai déjà pas mal de choses en route entre la formation de yoga et l’école ce qui fait que je risque d’attendre la fin du séjour pour me frotter aux grands requins blancs.

Cette semaine j’ai pris mon courage à deux mains, cela faisait quatre mois que je n’étais pas allée chez le coiffeur. Je suis allée chez Bladerunners sur Haights street. On m’a tellement dit de mal des coiffeurs aux US que j’avais pas mal d’appréhension mais bon cela commençait à devenir craignos… Il est vrai que quand on regarde les coupes de cheveux des Américaines cela fait un peu soucis entre les teintures ratées, les coupes androïdes ou Lulu Belle mon cœur balance. Chez Bladerunners, il ne faut pas trop s’attarder sur les coiffeuses, elles sont toutes largement tatouées, quand je dis largement c’est XXXL, les bras le cou et j’ose pas imaginer sous les habits. Les piercings c’est la même chose, bouche, nez oreilles, lèvres. Elles ont toutes des coupes bizarres. J’avais un peu peur de ne pas me reconnaître en sortant. J’ai fait confiance et le résultat n’est pas trop mal. (Les tatouages et le piercing ici c’est vraiment a big thing, la majorité des jeunes en sont couverts et dans des endroits très visible comme la poitrine sur les filles, la nuque, les bras, c’est tout ce qu’il y a de plus délicat… En ce qui concerne le piercing, c’est la même chose et la taille des « bijoux » insérés et énorme pour certains )

La beauté de cette ville continue de m’émerveiller, je ne me lasse pas de la regarder, de la déchiffrer, de la photographier sous toutes les coutures.
En général le dimanche j’essaie d’aller un peu plus loin, du côté de Marin où de Napa Valley. Le week-end prochain je projette de me rendre au Lac Tahoe. Ce dimanche, il faisait un temps superbe, je suis allée lire à Rodeo Beach. Les surfeurs glissaient sur les vagues énormes, des enfants jouaient sur la plage de gros sable noir, l’océan grondait au soleil couchant, les collines ocres se gorgeaient de soleil. Quand j’ai regagné San Francisco, la pleine lune se reflétait dans la baie, le Golden Gate était majestueux.

Castro

The sun rises over Castro. On a door mat a man sleeps under a blanket, only a tuff of dirty hair sticks out as well as a pair of downtrodden boots. Paper plates scattered on the ground as well as various rubbish, pigeons are looking for crumbs on the sidewalk.
The indian summer has started and it should last two months say the locals. The sun shines, the sky is bright blue, a seaside sky where the light is bright. No mountains to stop the sight, we can see far away. The wind cleans the air, the streets are wide and the houses small, the world seems to be open to you. The day starts.
A rainbow flag waves over Harvey Milk Plaza as well as anywhere in Castro. A man with a dog leather muzzle on his face
is walking by with his master, further away another one wears a T-shirt saying "If you don't like oral sex, close your mouth"
The wear of the kilt is commonplace, tight pants, in black leather, boots, piercing. Piercing and tatoos of all kind adorn bodies.
Couples kiss, and touch in all freedom. All the trades on Castro are gay. The neighborhood is friendly and safe. The architecture magnificent, with small colorful Victorian houses. The area abounds with cafes, restaurants and terraces. I enjoy going for a drink at Spike's or Cafe Flores on Market street.

Matter of food, the neighborhood teems with health food stores selling fruits and vegetables of great quality. Japanese restaurants are fairly cheap and delicious, there is a really good one down my house. The grocer next door is palestinian, I get my MUNI cards from his store as well as international phone cards.

I met Tony an old Hawaian man working on MUNI, we sometimes chat when I come back from work, his son lives in Paris and should soon come and visit his family in San Francisco. One of these encounters on the road that I really enjoy, a smile at seven in the morning always makes my day.
There is also the Castro theater across the street, they show old and alternative movies. I just viewed Oil Factor. The theater is magnificent inside as well as outside with frescoes and moldings.
Everyone seems to bear his burden never showing them. Yet life is not easy, a teacher earns twice less than in Geneva. On top of that work is more difficult because the school lacks means, the printers don't work because there is no ink, I ended up buying my own as well as paper, the photocopies are controlled, you have to fill in forms if you want to print documents, hand in the form and pick them up the next day. You also have to fill in forms related to copyright in which you assume the responsability for the documents you print. The classes are overpopulated, but nobody really seem to complain, it is part of the game.
The teachers listen to the students, value them and I have not yet witnesses negative discussions about a student. The Instructors help them, any student on his way back to school has to be help as well and as efficiently as possible even when the students are not acting in a positive way. And where another school would have failed and sent the student back home, the college aims at giving him/her more attention. I am flabergasted by this tolerance and these integration efforts to integrate the needy. Laney aims at integrating all ethnies, all nationalities, all physical handicaps as well as all social differences.

Johnny my homeless student is surprising, he keeps coming with a lot of enthousiam and he makes progress. He is in the process, like the other students of the class, of writing about his life. He works at a slow pace, but it is grand to walk him through the experience, to listen to him voicing his happiness of meeting people, of socializing. The other day he came to class with work he had done alone on the theme he was supposed to work on. He had worked alone for four hours. He had found a quizz in a school book about the subject and had aswered the questions so as to structure his presentation. The sheets of paper were in a terrible state because he had worked in the street, but the content was deeply moving. To the question : "What is the thing you would not like people to know about? ", he wrote :"My loneliness". Or "What do you think about when you can't sleep?", "Find a way to go back to school."
There is also Konya who always arrived with a sad and grumpy look, today she surprised me by putting her hand on my shoulder and smiling to me. The team is hard at work, everyone of them is writing the story that they are going to put online for those who agree with the concept. I love my job even if sometimes I go home heartbroken.
Monday will be Labor day, a three day weekend, yoga, reat and a tour to Napa Valley and Marin County is planned.

Sun over San Francisco

San Francisco has been basking in the sun for a week, the light is magnificent. The fog has disappeared, the wind is blowing, the temperature is cool, it is breathtaking. Each street corner is a discovery. A detail on a door, a frieze on a building, reflections on the Moscone Center I walk by everyday to go to the yoga studio. I have been here a week I enjoy every minute in this beautiful city with the feeling that time will fly and that I have to catch every second, every square of blue sky, every event. I love the Victorian houses, le wide streets, the steep hills which provide unusual view, diving in some places where we expect them the least. The other day, climbing up Nob Hill, I found myself observing Bay Bridge down California street, impressive, the cable car lines dug in the steepest streets even add to this vertigo effect.
I love riding the BART to go to work, thirty minutes door to door, it is quick I leap at the opportunity to read or to discreetly observe the habits of the passengers. The Asians, numerous in San Francisco tend to prolong their night in the train, they sit, eyes closed and seem to be sleeping... I'd be scared to death to miss the Lake Merritt station to college. Others have breakfast standing, eating a bagel and holding a likewise huge mug. Others read the SF Chronicle bought 50 cents at the BART entrance. Some carry their bikes. I have noticed that some of my collegues take their bikes into their offices.
Work is kind of exhausting although I never teach more than three hours a day, but all these new things to assimilate is really time consuming. A totally new program, different levels inside the same class, the fact of speaking in English all day long. I devour books, school books, the dictionary, students essays. It is fascination, but today I just couldn't anymore, even my jaws were exhausted.
My students move me deeply. Johnny the homeless guy keeps coming to class with his huge bag, his bag and a big tree branch fastened to the frame of his bike. He uses it a weights to keep in shape. He is assiduous and he has an incredible will to do well. Sometime he is very worried and agitated despite his age, he is fifty, I have to comfort him. I have managed to integrate him in the class and this is really great. On Friday he worked with a group of three women, everything went really well despite his very strong odour and his difficulty to express himself. His smile, his thankfulness at the end of class fill me with happiness. He told me feeling at ease in the group and happy. The other day, in the middle of class, he asked me "Why are you leaving us, miss Nat ?" I had to explain him the exchange, the reason of my departure at the end of the academic year and he told me to remind him the day of my departure.
And there are the others, Alicia, Navajo, broken family, two brothers living with aids in prison for murder. Kawasi, six brothers, four of which are in jail, 7 sisters. It is touching, sad to make you cry to listen to them. At the moment I work on the team, I strengthen the sense of community in the class. I take pictures, they write about themselves, listen to each other, notice their differences and their likeness. One of my Asian student wrote in his last paper: " I have a very simple family, in the class most of my friends have only one parent and many have a member of their family in jail."
There is Titus with his golden grills and his chain around the neck. It is tough for me to understand him, he speaks Ebonic, he said he was will to teach me then he said "U payin'?" Very tempting, but I am going to give it a second thought.
Basically the families are monoparental, the children are numerous and when the family house is not big enough, the kids end up in jail, I know I exagerate, but sometimes I get this feeling.
I am going to start a website for the class so that the students can publish their work.
Nothing really exciting outside school so far. I still share an apartment with Jonathan, Lisa and Jorge. Not always easy to share the bathroom, the kitchen, but I get used to it, I sometimes grit my teeth because hygene can be an issue, but I guess it is part of the experience. We are all four very independent which is the best part of sharing the appartement with them because we almost never see each other and we get to have the apartement to ourselves at our own times.
I was invited to a girls party by Victoria, a girl from Singapour that I met at the yoga studio. It was very interesting, I found myself in a superb house on Nob Hill, with a view on the Bay and the Golden Gate, magnificent and what a difference with my room without a view!. It was very international, bankers, consultants, Asians, Indians, an American woman nad an Italian reporter, the owner of the place. She had prepared the most delicious Italian food, the best so far since my arrival in the States. The discussion was very lively, relationships with men, how they had met their husbands or boyfriends for those who had one, the baby, their work and Victoria's wedding in India in January with her Indian boyfriend. I am not really used to that kind of girls party, they were talking non stop and I headed back home by cab, with anesthetized jaws.

This week-end I went to Marin County. The weather was gorgeous, I crossed the Golden Gate, Sausalito, Mills Valley and reached Muir Beach. The Pacific and the waves, families were having a picnic on the beach. Kids were bodysurfing. Fresh air, eucaliptus and pine bark smell, it felt really good.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

My new job

BART whistles and dives in the dark. From Embarcadero to Dublin Pleasanton, in a few minutes, I reach Lake Merritt station. Tens of Chinese people practice tai-chi in front of the BART station, strange morning vision. Further away, Laney college, deserted yesterday today. An ageless crowd is bustling about. Blacks caps on the side, grills, chains around their necks, hat on the head, trousers lown down on the butt. Chinese, handicapped, obese in their wheelchair, mothers with the child they have not be able to unload to anyone, a homeless guy with his huge backpack.Everyone is here in pursuit of education. One to learn how to read, one to read another to learn arithmetics.
After a quick stop at my office, yes, I am entitled to an office that I share with Judith, it is randomly organized, a broken lamp, no internet connection, there should be one, but there isn't one.
In a corner, piles of sheets, a mess that my exchange partner has carefully left in a bulk, a doll which probably belong to her granddaughter. The desk drawers are full of paper napkins, plastic spoons, bags of salt and pepper, one dollar notes.
So I grab my stuff, students rooster and I go, map in hands, to my classroom. My students are there, waiting with anticipation. A list of thirty students enrolled, but more want to join in. Today we get to know each other. I introduce myself, they try to pronounce my name, I show them where Switzerland on a world map, no one knew where it was. They are surprized by the distance and very interested. They ask me thousands of questions, what's the speed limit in Switzerland? How much is gas? If I have any children or how long I have been in the US.
I have been struck by Johnny Gamez, I think there is a mistake in his name, it should be Gomez and he agrees with me. He came to class with his house, a huge bag, leaves and dried grass on his clothes, reeking a putrid odor. In the class, no real desks, broken chairs individual desks. The students take a seat, young, old, some clean others much dirtier of various ethnicities. Runder an obese African American student has to bent on to a chair next to her wheel chair to write, she can't put her notebook on her knees. Johnny is in the first row, alone. It is true that his smell is kind of repulsive. Finally a young African American student will volunteer to kindly start a discussion with him. He keeps calling me each time he has to write a word. He tells me how happy he is, he feels the words are coming. It is very touching to see the energy he puts to do well. He has taken a dirty sheet of paper from his bag, it is brown where his wrist has rested. I also have to take care of the others, Calvin, Precious.. but they seem to have fun. At the end of class, some come, shake hand, thank me.
I am touched by what I see, I feel I am in a different world, a world where it doesn't feel good to be black and where it doesn't
feel good to loose your job or to be sick and where the family stucture doesn't exist anymore.

Laney in numbers

Number of students : 27’022
Enrollement by age :
Below 15 1%
16-18 8%
19-24 31%
25-29 15%
30-34 11%
35-54 26%
55-64 5%
65+ 3%

Men 40%
Women 60%

Average age 32

Enrollement by ethnicities

African Americans 29%
Asian Americans 24%
Caucasians 20%
Philippinos 3%
Hispanic 13%
Indians 1%
Others 10%


Number of students per class 30 +
In the neighbor college the teachers have discovered on the first day of school that their salary had been reduced 15%, tough knowing that last year it had already been reduced 7%.

Apart from that I discover this fantastic city whipped by the winds and wrapped in the fog, I get used to my dark bedroom, to the subway and to the visions of madness and misery which haunt the town, I stand on my head at yoga to find my balance.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Heading south

It suddenly gets much warmer when we leave SF, we drive across the California orchards, the roads seem dusty, the hills time-worn, Mexicans buzz about in the plantations. The road leading to Santa Monica is long. In turn the rvs, the sparkling trucks, the dilapidated pick-up whisk on the freeway. What a change, Santa Monica and its mutant women, siliconed, nail-polished. Santa Monica its promenade and pretty facades. Santa Monica and its neat lawns, its gorgeous palm trees, its yoga schools at every corner. The temperature is mild, we find ourselves back in August, we dare wear a skirt and walk barefoot.

Even the homeless seem cleaner, as if they had been given clothes so as not to disturb the picture. I even saw one wearing white socks.
Each day its discoveries, yesterday I went back to Venice Beach, a world of its own. They were shooting a film, dirty dreadlocked beach bums were acting without conviction under powerful projectors. A few meters away a man seemingly coming back from Woodstock sells sage, tanned face, filthy clothes and blond hair headed. Further away, a muscular black guy holds the assembly under his spell, He is holding a folding chair on which is sitting a twelve year old girl, now he stick one of the chair's foot in his mouth and surprise he holds the girl and the chair in balance with his jaw.
The merchants are making money and sell cowboy hats, music from the Andes, food and all kind of clothes.
Bike riding policemen patrol the promenade. On the beach they move in quads and jeeps, the activity is intense and the sirens wistle any time telling us that something just happened.
On the beach further away it is another fauna, the surfers confront the swimmers, well almost for a lifeguard hurries up to set them apart with a loud speaker. Each has to evolve in a definite zone and nothing will make her change her mind. The Pacific sea water is surprisingly warm, it must be around 24 degrees celcius, but it doesn't look clean.
Santa Monica live at yoga time, everyone is going or is coming back from a yoga class, mat on the shoulder dressed in Lululemon pants and comfortable shoes. The classes are packed, the mats close and one works dripping sweat in the heat of the studios, head in the neighbor's feet careful not to touch each other while saluting the sun. The level is impressive, the yogis assiduous. No showers at the end of the class, each leaves the class on a cloud to shower home.

San Francisco

The wind blows ceaselessly moving thousands of papers and rubbish, strewing the steets, sweeping misery, chapping the crimson homeless' faces and those of the wakos haunting the city. Women, men, mixture of both, transvestites not having had enough money to finish the work, the vision of all this people in perdition if scary

Last year I was in Bombay, there was a lot of misery, but here it is this human madness which really shocks. Round the corner of a huge building, in the icy wind, a man half naked dances in a tutu
touseled hair, he jumps, shouts and digs with his grubby fingers between the cracks in the sidewalk to pick up dirty cigarette butts . Further away, an African American man sleeps huddled-up in a door way, pants down to his knees, open mouth. A toothless transvestite, a year old faded hair tint, skin riddled with scars holding a pink purse in his hairy arms. Yesterday I promised myself to avoid the most striken by perdition areas of the city, I always ended up broken, sad and unstrung.
So I headed to the Pacific, to the waves. Sailboats tilted by the wind raced in the bay, the sea lions were basking in the sun on the pontoon groaling and thousands of tourists were uncovering the beauties of San Francisco.
The bedroom found on the internet with a view to a wall in one of theses small victorian Castro houses definitely lacks light.
I am going to look for another one soon. Castro, gay paradise, women are sparse, men interwine and hunt. The neighborhood is really cool and lively. When downtown San Francisco is wrapped in a fog cloud, Castro shines under dazzling sun. Today I went to Oakland, thirty minutes door to door with BART, it's great I met some teacher, the dean. They are all quite friendly. I have an office with a view to Lake Merritt, it's beautiful. The climate in the Bay area is much milder than in SF, I am looking forward to start work.

Arrival in the US

I arrived here in Washington DC a few days ago and things seem to be rolling. The Fulbright meeting has just started. The vibe is over positive, but I sometimes find it difficult. Everything seems to be so well, too well, too wonderful, you look awesome, you are the hero of the day, the teacher of the year, better than this or than that, I am not used to this and it feel artificial, when it gets over the top, I hop for a drink to the next door cafe and treat myself with an Odwalla juice, my favorite and I dive in the pool or read in the sun next to it.
All of us (teachers from all over the planet are going on an exchange in this wonderful country)go from one workshop to another where we learn how to teach and behave when facing the "homo americanus". The American government has edicted a new law, « no child left
behind » and despite the constant augmentation of students in the classes (over 30 in some classes)the teacher has to develop a differenciated pedagogy so that his/her students succeed otherwise the school ratings will drop and it won't get any money from the government for the next academic year or it might even close.
The workshops are great and the facilitators have a great sense of humor which makes it really interesting.

Besides all this, each of us is busy sorting out the last few problems, the extermination of rats in the South Carolina property, the cost of snow clearance in Illinois, the cost of installation of a new cable in Oklahoma and what more the cost of a car in California.
Others came loaded with suitcases full of books and exchange these as if they were rare goods with a lot of seriousness.
In my case I spend most of my time looking for Brenda who still hasn't got a place to stay in Geneva (after we had to cancel the housing agreement because she neither gave me an address, nor pictures of the place in Oakland), has no plane ticket to go from Frankfurt to Geneva and who still hasn't enrolled her daughter in a school in Geneva, and who... I was about to forget, doesn't speak a word of French.
One more day with these charming collegues and I will be off to San Francisco and California.
I feel happy and I am excited by this new adventure. I love walking the streets, observing people, I relish every single minute of my stay here.